Friday, March 25, 2005

What do you do...

... when you're depressed? That's something I often ask myself. I have battled clinical depression for fifteen years. My lowest point was seven years ago, when I spent a month in a psychiatric hospital for ECT treatments. I haven't ever been as low as that. But the depression does come and go. Today it is visiting. I just feel heavy and drained and so so tired. It will pass, if only because I refuse to let myself sink into it -- it's so much harder to get out the longer you've been stuck there.

Yesterday I finished The Geographer's Library -- I recommend it. It's witty and fun, and the ending is realistic (except for the meeting between Paul and the dead prof's brother...).

I also started Ian McEwan's new novel, Saturday. I'm about halfway through and I really like it so far. It's refreshing to have a middle-aged male protagonist who is in love and lust with his wife of 25 years...

I'm stuck in the middle of Saturday, in the midst of a multi-page racket ball game... I'm working on unsticking myself, without calling my family's attention to the fact that I'm feeling unwell. Their well-meaning attempts to cheer me up or monitor my moods just make me even more exhausted...

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